How would it feel if you could just keep talking? If you could let out all those thoughts that have been bouncing around, completely chewed over, and suddenly create light and attention for new, exciting, progressive ideas? Just because someone sits across from you or beside you, listens, says nothing and doesn’t interrupt you.
What if you could rely on not being interrupted until you’re finished with your own thinking? And then you wouldn’t get advice, tips, sympathetic waffle or other commentary, but at most just a short question: “What else are you thinking or feeling right now?” — with no agenda of their own.
What if you could rely on your conversation partner really listening and not interrupting you, giving you time, space and attention to think: Would you accept it, to think further and maybe even speak aloud the previously unthinkable but already gut-felt? I want to give you this space for self-thinking.
And I promise you I won’t interrupt. Until you’re finished. And then I won’t give you criticism, a tip, or life wisdom; I’ll simply ask whether you’re really finished thinking and whether you even still need my input. Maybe we’ll think together a little more. But only if you like it and as long as you want.
Does that sound good? Would you like such a space to spend half an hour spinning thoughts without being interrupted? Or does it make you nervous, uncertain, because you’re no longer used to thinking for yourself; because you’ve become so accustomed to the many interruptions from others, but also from yourself, and every little ping from your smartphone is a welcome interruption to avoid the deeper thoughts with possibly significant consequences?
In my previous life as a journalist and “media person,” I constantly researched for other people, “pre-thought” and packaged the essence into easily digestible information bites. I hoped to trigger something in others. I always saw my work as an invitation to think further and deeper. But honestly: Who has time for that?
Just reading, just understanding and listening isn’t enough. We have to grasp it, actually implement the knowledge. But that costs time and energy. And anyway, what’s the point of all that beautiful groundwork, the literature, the countless lists and all those TED Talks, if it all bounces off you because you have no time for further thinking and constantly let yourself be voluntarily interrupted?
I don’t want to collect anything for you, digest it, prepare it ready-to-eat and hope you’ll like it. I just want to be there, follow your thoughts, be present. Nothing more.
I want to listen to you and support you in independent thinking. As long as possible. And then longer. Because your own thoughts are the best — if you dare and give your thoughts space.
Are you ready? Let me know, I’ll listen and promise not to interrupt you.
First appeared in German on reinergaertner.de, my blog since 1997. AI-assisted translation — because life’s too short to translate 150 posts by hand, but too long to leave them in German.