There’s always someone better. Always someone with smoother skin, a straighter nose, a perfect body, magnetic humour and razor-sharp logic. There’s always someone better than you. Don’t get annoyed about it. That’s just how it is.
Many people don’t look left or right. They only stare at their own navel. They convince themselves they know more, look better, are superior. Who knows — maybe they only are in meetings and Instagram photos. In reality they’re insecure and need validation from the world. Like small children.
But even here there’s always someone even more amazing who wins every comparison. Bad luck.
We compare ourselves to others. That’s part of being human. It started in childhood. Our parents said: “But Thomas can already do that, why can’t you? Try harder!” Negative experiences stick like Velcro, positive ones slide off like Teflon. Hardly seems fair.
Those critical voices burned in since childhood, those well-meaning but hurtful comparisons — they’re what make life so difficult for many now. At the same time, they often drive us to improve. But improve at what? Because we’re chasing some ideal? Following a path that leads nowhere?
Should we really suck up to someone who doesn’t even notice (the navel)? Do we have that much lifetime to spare?
Why don’t we look at what we’ve achieved on our journey? Why do we always look forward and stress ourselves because we’re nowhere near where we want to be? Maybe it’s not even as nice there as it is here in the now.
Why compare yourself to other people who are on a different path than you? What does recognition give you? Does it make you stronger? For how long? Are you walking this path for others, to get a little sugar in your bowl? What’s left?
Maybe your skin, your nose, your body aren’t perfect and you don’t always wear the latest things or have much money in the bank. But you look after yourself and others. You don’t compare anymore and can only smile wearily at those who spend so much money, time and effort trying to please people who don’t actually care.
You have self-respect. You don’t need to lie to yourself or others, and your word counts. Your immediate circle will appreciate that wholeheartedly.
And whoever doesn’t? So what.
This started life in German on reinergaertner.de, my blog since 1997. The English version was AI-assisted. My German-trained eyes may have missed a few things along the way. She’ll be right.