After years of devouring non-fiction books, I’ve finally opened myself back up to novels. I think I was just “full of recipes” and knowledge I couldn’t implement or didn’t want to.
So I’ve been reading loads of books lately. Trying to stick with Australian authors to better understand the culture here. Really loved “Bruny” by Heather Rose (also read “Museum of Modern Love” — equally brilliant) and a compelling series by Chris Hammer. I’m not usually one for thrillers, but these are all set in the Australian outback and beautifully written.
Today I want to tell you about a book that’s not by an Australian author, but one I read in English anyway: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.
The book follows a woman named Nora, about thirty years old, living in Bedford, England. We meet her at a turning point. She loses her job at a music shop, got cold feet and bailed on her wedding just days before it was supposed to happen. She was in a band with her brother and friends — just as they landed a record deal, she left. Studied in London but came back to Bedford. Never found happiness there.
She feels like nothing fits, and when she loses the job, her cat gets run over, and her brother comes to town without wanting to see her, she decides to die.
The book builds this beautifully and dramatically. Then there’s a cut: It’s midnight. Nora is dead. Or is she?
She finds herself in an old library — the Midnight Library. Stuffed full of books. Is this all a dream? She doesn’t understand. Then she meets a librarian who explains she’s in a very special place. Somewhere between death and life.
But the library is more than a waiting room for death to collect you. Everything in this library is about Nora’s life. The many books contain stories of what Nora’s life would have been like if she’d made different choices. First, the librarian hands her the “Book of Regrets” — everything Nora regrets not doing. How would her life have turned out if she’d married that man and opened a country pub with him? She’d wondered about this while alive. The librarian explains she could live this life and gives her the book with that story.
The rule is simple: you return to the library immediately if the life disappoints and doesn’t run as expected. And then the wild ride begins.
Nora sees herself in a life she never lived: she’s in a pub, sees herself and her husband, learns they’ve grown apart. He drinks heavily and has an affair with another woman. Nora isn’t happy in this life either. She returns to the library and reads another book.
In this life, she moved to Australia with her best friend. She’s standing by a pool, doesn’t know exactly where she is or who she is. But she notices that in this life she takes a lot of drugs and her friend died in a car accident. She can’t handle this life, sinks into depression. Back to the library.
In another life she wakes up as a career woman in an expensive hotel. But something’s wrong with this life too. Then Nora lives through even more lives: she’s a researcher in Antarctica, nearly eaten by a bear. She won Olympic gold in swimming. She didn’t leave the band and is now a rock star. Sometimes she feels fantastic, in other lives she’s depressed. But she always comes back to the library, wondering if she has to stay there forever, die permanently, or maybe just continue living one of these lives. What starts as fascinating for Nora increasingly becomes torture.
Halfway through the book, you find yourself hoping that despite all these different lives, maybe Nora will return to her real life after all. Maybe death will spare her because she understands her life is actually worth living. But ultimately the book takes a surprising turn that I won’t spoil here.
Overall, The Midnight Library is a brilliant book that reads quickly but runs deep if you let it. Absolute reading recommendation.
First published in German at reinergaertner.de, where I’ve been at it since 1997. AI did the heavy lifting on the translation. I did the heavy squinting at the result.